Can I Ask You Something? Vol. 5

Meredith Wood, Arthritis Foundation

As a longtime events skeptic, I’ve been about what it really means to gather people together—not just the logistics, but the purpose beneath them. Priya Parker writes in The Art of Gathering that the first step to creating a meaningful gathering is committing to a “bold, sharp purpose”: one clear thing you want people to walk away with, which then shapes every other decision.

That idea has been sitting with me, in part because I’ve seen it embodied so well by people I admire. One of them is Meredith Wood, Massachusetts Executive Director of the Arthritis Foundation, and one of the most thoughtful and generous conveners I know—professionally and personally. Meredith pays close attention to the details, the flow, and the experience of a gathering, but never as ends in themselves. Everything is in service of that purpose, whether she’s hosting a dinner party or leading a complex organizational conversation.

That same intentionality shows up throughout our conversation below. Meredith reflects candidly on perfectionism, people-pleasing, and boundaries in nonprofit leadership, offering a perspective that challenges some of the narratives we often default to in mission-driven work. Her insights feel especially resonant as many of us navigate ongoing transition: personally, professionally, and collectively.

Hi Meredith! What helps you decide what to say yes to - and what to let go of?

I'm very much a perfectionist and people pleaser, so saying no is still a habit I'm trying to develop. From a professional standpoint, I try to frame things in context of what the actual value add of an action will be for mission impact—and then set a time estimate plus 30% for the activity so I have a prayer of actually creating a realistic to-do list. I still overload most days, but the practice of being more aware of what I'm saying yes to is helping me feel like I'm being more intentional. The unfortunate reality is that there will always be more to do than time to do it, and I am slowly coming around to believing that I, personally, don't have to do it all.

What’s one thing you wish you could tell your younger self?
It would have been incredible to realize that learning and growth was actually the whole point in my 20s! I feel like I spent so much time trying to prove that I had it all figured out that I missed out on a lot of opportunity to ask questions and listen well. (Local woman recognizes how imposter syndrome has impacted her professional development! More at 10)

Who or what are you learning from lately?

I've really been enjoying back episodes of Julia Louis-Dreyfus' podcast "Wiser Than Me." She has beautifully candid conversations with women who are older and wiser than she is, and then recaps the conversations with her mother—which usually leaves me in tears. I'm also so grateful for a relatively new group of girlfriends that has formed in my town—we're all in different professional fields and personal situations but the authenticity and solidarity is really energizing.

What’s one boundary you’re holding right now?

This is going to sound a little counterintuitive to the idea of boundaries in a traditional "work-life balance" sense—but I'm spending a lot of time pushing back on my family's assertion that I work too much, haha. The truth is that—when appropriate! Definitely not all the time—I really, really take value from fully throwing myself into my work, especially if I'm working with a really great team dynamic. I know it's such a fraught conversation in the mission-driven space—underfunded, overworked, etc.—but at this point in my career, it feels right for me personally to dive in deep and frequently.

What values guide your work when the path forward isn’t clear?
On really disheartening days, President Obama used to tell his staff that "better is good," as a reminder that incremental progress was valid, even if the ultimate goal wasn't accomplished—it's not really a value but something I find myself clinging to increasingly as the world continues to become more dangerous, especially for vulnerable populations.

I think in fundraising especially we end up with some strange bedfellows—and the idea of "redemptive philanthropy" makes my skin crawl a lot of the time—but the reality is that no situation will ever be perfect, and (almost) any opportunity to influence net positive impact for your mission is ultimately a step in the right direction.

The other phrase that plays often in my head is "if there's no wind, row." Our current state of affairs, especially, has me feeling fortunate to be in a field that is so well aligned with my values, and affords me opportunities to make incremental progress—or at least help support the progress—towards the kind of world I actually want to live in.

Thank you again, Meredith! You can find out more about the Arthritis Foundation by clicking here.

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